Books That Made Me Cry So Hard I Almost Threw Up

Not many books earn this classification.

candid picture of me bawling my eyes out after reading a book

I LOVE CRYING. I don't know how common this is, but reading a book or watching a movie that makes me bawl my eyes out is so insanely cathartic. I am notorious for entering Barnes & Noble with one request: "Can you guys recommend me a book that will make me cry so hard I almost throw up?"

Only a few books have managed to rip my heart out and curbstomp it, and they are books I will go back to time and time again like an adrenaline junkie who gets off on crying, sobbing, bawling, hiccuping, all that good stuff.

Without further ado: here is my definitive list of Books That Made Me Cry So Hard I Almost Threw Up.

1) All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

Oh my god, this book. I have never experienced pure, soul-crushing, devastating pain quite like the pain this book inflicts upon me during every re-read.

All The Bright Places is beautifully written, to say it concisely. Finch and Violet are fully fleshed out characters with flaws, habits, grief and trauma that brings them together beautifully.Their slow burn romance is written in a way that avoids cliches.

Finch is the kind of character that proves that a male character written by a woman will always, always be the boy of your dreams. However, Niven does not shy away from exploring his dark side as he grapples with the dangerous ups and downs that come with having bipolar disorder. We experience the book partly in his point of view, where his chapter titles chronicle the amount of days he has spent "awake."

On the other hand, Violet's chapters are a countdown to the end of her high school career, greatly juxtaposing Finch's reality. Violet, traumatized and grief-stricken after the loss of her sister, is simply surviving and trudging through her grief. Finch experiences a sort of manic-driven "carpe diem" lifestyle, where he takes on different personas, habits and passions in order to make the most of the days he spends feeling "awake."

I devoured this book in one glorious sitting. I now keep it stored away in my glove compartment so I can revisit it whenever I need another good cry.

2) The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

A longer post regarding this book is on the way, which is proof of what a special place this book holds in my heart.

Perks is the kind of timeless book that reminds you of what it's like to be a fifteen year old just trying to survive the horrors of adolescence. Chbosky writes the book in such a way that you feel like Charlie, the main character's, confidant. You're quickly immersed into his world of parties and sex and secrets.

"You accept the love you think you deserve" is a quote I will throw at my loved ones, a quote that will always make me cry when I read it or hear it in the movie. These words ring true with anyone who has experienced unrequited love or been in an abusive relationship. It hits you early on in the book and echoes through all the relationships that are developed within each letter written by Charlie.

I'd write more, but I don't want to spoil my future post about this book. For now, just read the damn thing. It'll change your life.

3) We Were Liars by E. Lockhart

We Were Liars was recommended to me by a good friend. I'm a huge snob when it comes to reading books, so it's rare that I take someone's recommendation to heart and actually read it. When I asked my friend if this book would pass the test of making me cry so hard I almost throw up, they said, and I quote "ideally."

proof.

I read this book, like all the other ones, in one sitting. I devoured it whole and loved every word. This is the first and only book deemed a "mystery" that I have ever read, and I am certain no other books will be able to top it.

You spend the entire book immersed in Cadence's point of view, experiencing the world following her trauma after a tragedy that occurred 2 years prior. I spent most of the book... confused? I don't know if that's a good word to use, but I was generally confused throughout the entire story, which is what I think Lockhart was going for. Cadence is trying to understand how and why her life and world changed so drastically in the last two years, and we are simply along for the ride.

The twist at the end of the book snaps your spine in half and crushes your heart and destroys you over and over again. I highly recommend.

4) Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

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Sorry, I needed to find a way to successfully illustrate what I felt like the entire time I spent reading this book. Goodbye Days destroys you from the very first page and it doesn't stop. It kind of reminds me of the last episode of Invincible where Omni-Man just decimates Invincible over and over and over again incessantly until eventually flying off into space.

In this case, Jeff Zentner is Omni-Man and the subway full of innocent passengers are his readers.

Goodbye Days focuses on Carver, nicknamed Blade by his friend-group “The Sauce Crew,” who is burdened with guilt for sending a text that ultimately leads to his friends getting into a fatal car crash. Blade spends the final month of his summer attending the funerals of his best friends as senior year and college applications loom over him. To find closure, Blade plans "Goodbye Days” with the parents who lost their children in the car accident.

I read this entire book on the bus ride to and from my high school during my senior year, which was four years ago. I still talk about this book constantly, praising the way Zentner is able to redeem a character who believes they don't deserve redemption. You grieve with every character, you cry with the parents and loved ones and you laugh at the good moments. Every page of this book is artfully crafted to truly create a novel that will change your life.